


The Normal Life

by cmartlover



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Rory's perspective, older!River, post-TBB!Eleven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 19:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmartlover/pseuds/cmartlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Amy, didn't you see how they were flirting? The Doctor was actually trying to flirt! That was just about the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my life. Is he always like this, I mean, you've traveled with him longer than I have…" Upon his second, rather ridiculous encounter with River Song, Rory is left feeling very confused. Post The Big Bang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Normal Life

Slowly trudging down the luminescent TARDIS hallway, the sandy haired man approached the main control room in pursuit of the harsh ringing that had woken him up.

It was morning—well, as close to the morning as it could be on an alien ship that traveled through time and space.

The man, recently dubbed, 'Rory Pond,' rubbed his eyes sleepily, wandering towards the multicolored central console without a second thought.

His feisty, red headed wife was still sleeping, and Rory had no intention of having her slumber interrupted by something as pitiful as the Doctor's phone. After growing up with her for so many years, her husband knew better than to bring on the wrath of Amy Pond.

That was why he had gotten out of bed in the first place. He half expected that the Doctor would have answered his blasted phone by now, but apparently the man in the bow tie was nowhere to be found.

"Ah, Doctor, your phone's sort of ringing…and believe me, both of us are not ready to deal with a grumpy Amy, so…do you think you could…erm…answer it?" he asked sheepishly, a defeated sigh escaping his throat when his wife's best friend did not appear, and instead, the buzzing noise continued to pound in his ears.

_Whoever this is must really want to get in touch with the Doctor…the phone has already rung at least five times…but if he isn't here, then I suppose I'd better pick it up…_

Clasping the old fashioned, black object to his ear, the last Centurion listened for the caller's voice.

"Sweetie…?" a somewhat familiar voice resounded from the other end. It was that strange woman he'd met when he was plastic. River Song.

"No, this is Rory. Sorry, but the Doctor isn't here at the moment, but I'll be sure to…" he hadn't even had the chance to finish his sentence, when suddenly a very cross looking Doctor rushed out of one of the halls connecting to the control room and scampered towards the console, an irritated expression etched across his face.

"Rory Pond, hand me my phone this instant!" the man in the bow tie practically barked, the loudness of his voice causing the disgruntled Rory to jump slightly.

"Yes, right, sorry, it's that woman again…River Song…" wanting to provide a decent explanation, the sandy haired man was surprised when the Doctor's skin grew even redder.

"Oi, just give me that!" without another word, the flustered man removed his phone from Rory's fingers, and thrust it to his own ear, the dark cord winding around his body in the process. "Don't answer this phone. Only I can answer it." He huffed at his companion, his attention then focusing on a woman's voice.

"What is it? Well, I'm sorry but I was busy with something…fixing the TARDIS, yes, it was very important, mind you…" the man defended himself, his forehead scrunching up into tiny folds.

Rory watched as the Doctor's hand quivered slightly.

"You're what? Stranded inside the Burj Khalifa in Dubai and you're about to jump out the window? River, what are you even doing there and how did you…oh, never mind. And no, I am not your personal taxi service! It's not my responsibility to get you down from there, so don't even start…" his voice was trembling a bit, as his hands flailed obnoxiously in the air.

From what Rory could tell, it sounded like River was laughing in response.

"The Pandorica. That was the last time I saw you…  _Young_? What do you mean, young, River, I'll have you know I am nine-hundred and eight!"

What was it with those two, anyway? Rory had thought they'd had a rather odd relationship from the start, but he couldn't seem to pinpoint exactly what it was. One minute, the Doctor was scolding her profusely, and the next he was blushing like an idiot.

"No, no, River, stop it…do _not_ start telling me the coordinates because if you seriously think I'm about to get you out of there then you're sorely mistaken…Hold on, I can't hear you, what was that? They're about to handcuff you…alright, alright, I'm working as quickly as I can…" the man in the bow tie circled the glittering console even as he spoke, his fingers deftly tapping the keyboard-like instrument in a purposeful fashion.

"River, River, are you there? Come on, talk to me…oh, the line's dead! Well, that's just probably a very bad sign, and I suppose I should be paying attention to flying the TARDIS correctly rather than jabbering on to myself…" grasping the scanner, the Doctor quickly followed the directions River had given him.

At the same time, the sandy haired man furrowed his brows, quite confused by the Time Lord's erratic behavior.

"Wait…I thought you just spent nearly that entire conversation telling River that it wasn't your responsibility to get her out of that situation, whatever it is, and now you're typing coordinates in like rapid fire…" Rory Williams managed to pipe up, slightly surprised when an even deeper crimson color formed in the Doctor's cheeks.

Apparently the stubborn man was intent on ignoring him.

"Yes, right! There we go…this is going to be a tricky one, eh, Old Girl?" Bolting towards the entrance to the TARDIS, the Doctor prepared to open the doors.

"But, Doctor…" his companion started.

"Well, don't just stand there! Get back, Rory!" the man in the bow tie commanded sternly, and Rory was very quick to heed his instructions.

Inching backwards, the Roman obeyed, his eyes never once leaving the ridiculous sight that was unfolding before him. If he was perfectly honest, Rory wasn't quite sure what was about to happen.

Well, he hardly had to wait because before he could completely process that thought, the doors of the time machine clicked open, and a curly haired woman plummeted straight into the Doctor's arms, which obviously weren't too stable going by the way the two crashed to the floor in a matter of seconds.

For a brief moment, Rory caught just a brief glimpse of the sandy desert thousands of feet below whatever building River had just hurled herself out of.

However, the TARDIS doors soon shut automatically, and Rory Pond became immediately distracted by the scene that was playing out before his very eyes.

"Hello Sweetie." The woman smiled down at the Doctor, whose face was now completely flushed.

"It seems this is becoming quite a regular habit of yours, Dr. Song," he shot back, his tone high-pitched and flirtatious.

_Wait, is he_  flirting _with her? The Doctor, the most awkward man I've ever met, and now he's trying to…oh, gosh…_

"You know, Sweetie, if you want a smoother landing, you can always open the doors to the swimming pool. Not that I'm complaining…" she tugged at his blue bow tie, and he suddenly stiffened, his body jerking upwards.

"Get off!" the Doctor scolded, thrusting the woman off of him in a flash. Despite his building anger, River seemed very amused and light-hearted.

Her hands were clasped behind her back, fettered in a pair of silvery shackles.

"Sweetie, can you sonic me? I need to get out of these handcuffs…" she turned her back towards him, and Rory saw the Doctor's face turn five shades of red.

"No, no! Why do you always have handcuffs…oh, never mind…don't answer that. And to answer your first question: absolutely not! Not until you give me a proper explanation! River, what were you doing?" the man in the bow tie scowled, his voice filled with frustration.

"Oh, I just jumped out of the Burj Khalifa—the tallest building on earth, well, in the early part of the twenty first century, anyway. You know Dubai, quite the area for business—and conveniently for me, a very corrupt one at that. Unfortunately once they realized our little, shall we say, _deal_ , had expired, I ran into some trouble. But I managed to get away with what was rightfully mine…" she chuckled heartily to herself, and both men could only wonder what she referring to.

_So, what? She's a thief, too. Who is River Song, really?_

"You stole something, didn't you? River, you can't do things like that! Stealing is wrong…besides, you should be more careful." The Doctor acted as if he actually possessed some kind of authority over her.

"Says the man who stole a type forty TARDIS centuries ago and has never once had a second thought about giving it back! Now, Sweetie, can you please just…" River's demeanor changed towards the end of that sentence.

Rory was slightly taken aback when the Doctor suddenly grabbed the woman's wrist in a fit of rage.

_Boy, he really doesn't like it when she says things like that. He always wants to be Number One—he_ has _to be right. But with River Song, he doesn't stand a chance._

It was at that precise instant that the sandy haired man recognized a loud, rustling sound coming from behind.

Glancing back, Rory Pond caught his drowsy wife's angry grimace.

"Oi, Doctor! What is all the huff about?" she peered around her husband's shoulder, giving the Doctor a death glare. "Oh, River's here, I see." Amy Pond nodded at River.

"Hello, Amy, Rory." The curly haired woman finally acknowledged her parents' reproachful stares, trying to avoid the Doctor's enraged eyes.

"Doctor, what are you two doing? You're grabbing her wrist, and she's handcuffed…that's really not something you ought to be doing out in the open, is it? I mean…really?" the ginger watched as her best friend began to protest, his cheeks a smoldering crimson.

Amy was grinning, as well, right along with River, and Rory was fairly certain that she knew that nothing of that sort was happening at all. She simply thought it was hilarious to see the Doctor blush.

"What? No, did you think…we weren't doing anything like that…Stop staring at me…I was just about to get her out of these blasted things!" he quickly whipped his sonic out of his pocket and the cuffs unlocked, falling to the glass floor below.

"Thank you, Sweetie." She sighed, eyeing the scrapes on her wrists. "I really must be off, then. Sorry, to disappoint you, Sweetie, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait to anything of that sort 'til you're older…much, much older." The woman brushed past him towards the TARDIS console, her hand briefly touching his.

"Wh-What do you mean? We weren't even…" he trailed off.

"Spoilers!" River winked devilishly, before focusing her attention back to the controls.

Meanwhile, the sandy haired man stood in the back, rendered quite speechless after that naughty conversation.

_And to think_ Amy _was the one to suggest it in the first place. Not that that's really much of a surprise._

"River, what are you doing? That's my TARDIS…you can't touch her…and you're not even doing it right…It isn't making the noise…stop it…River, where are we going?" he felt his ship land even though it didn't make its typical whirring sound.

"Ah, well, I don't know about you, but after that lovely skydiving experience, my hair is quite a mess. Good thing I book a hair appointment every week, then, eh?" jogging towards the exit, River's face shone brightly, as her wild curls bounced atop her back.

"What are you talking about? Your hair looks great the way it is…I mean…forget that…Really, though? You used my TARDIS to go to a hair appointment? Couldn't you just have used your Vortex Manipulator…" the Doctor continued, despite the fact that Amy and River were laughing throughout his pitiful speech.

"Yes, dear, but where's the fun in that?" she raised a brow suggestively, and turned to the door. "Well, it's been rather fun, but I really must be off. Amy, I apologize for waking you. And Rory, sorry you had to see all of that…but you know how  _he_  is." River looked directly at the Doctor. "I'll be seeing you, then, my love." Pressing her lips to her hand, she blew him a quick kiss, before making her way out of the TARDIS.

Silence fell over the control room.

After a minute or so, it was Rory who spoke first.

"So, who is she exactly? Are they together, or something?" his remark caused the Doctor to grow even more flustered (if that was even possible).

"Mad, impossible woman!" the man in the bow tie muttered to himself.

"She's his wife from the future, Rory. Isn't that right, Doctor?" Amy claimed, loud enough that her best friend could hear her, all too clearly.

"Just an old friend, is all." He shuddered uncomfortably under his companions' stares.

"Oh, he just won't admit it. She's definitely his wife. No question about it. She even told me at the crash of the Byzantium." The red head spoke to her husband, but at the same time, eyed the Doctor suspiciously.

"Ha, ha! Very funny, Pond. And no, she did not tell you that…she, well…"

"So, you were listening after all! Nosy Doctor…" she pretended to scold him, the laughter alight in her tone.

"No, no, don't be ridiculous. That woman is not…I mean, she's just absolutely maddening!"

"Amy, didn't you see how they were flirting? The Doctor was actually trying to _flirt_! That was just about the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my life. Is he always like this, I mean, you've traveled with him longer than I have…" Rory admitted quietly, watching as the Doctor's face hardened.

"Pretty much, yeah. He's quite rubbish around River. But, flirting, well, that's a big step for him. Normally it's one sided because the Doctor doesn't have the faintest idea how to respond." Amy quipped.

"You do know I'm still standing here, don't you?"

"Sorry, erm…" the Roman mumbled, avoiding the Doctor's reproachful stare. His gaze ran over the spot on the floor where the pair of handcuffs still remained. He rubbed his temple, as if trying to rid his mind of the mental picture that was steadily forming. "Okay, that was…strange. I'm getting this sort of banging in my head. Anyway, how about breakfast?" Rory asked, wanting to gear their focus elsewhere.

"Brilliant idea! I'm starved!" the Doctor said, almost too quickly.

With that, the three awkwardly maneuvered towards the kitchen and out of the control room.

Rory released an exasperated sigh.

"And to think, all I ever wanted was a normal life."


End file.
